judi Dench and me.

This one is short and very sweet.
You probably haven’t got time to boil the kettle,
but give it a go if you like…
Judi Dench.
Yes, many of my posts deal with people that I don’t actually know, that are not actually a realistic part of my life. musings of my friendships with them in my imagination…
Baz lurhman & Meryl Streep spring to mind.
except for that commandant from ADFA in my last post.
He was delightfully real!! That sounds like I’m being rude about him, I’m not !!
He was just delightful thats all.
Actually!! I just remembered I had to clear something up about said commandant and me!!
It made me sad, well not sad, but dismayed, well not dismayed either, more like just standing there with my mouth open concerned ( yet again ) I may well have made a dick of myself. when it has actually been pointed out not everyone “gets it ” when I’m joking!!
See When I read Ellen DeGeneres highly amusing book and she wrote how she loves to invite the neighbourhood children over and they get drunk together all the time. It was, I think,understood she was joking !
People get Ellen is joking. Is it because she is a multi award winner ( surely she is !!) is a very famous comic/entertainer and is on the TV. She doesn’t need to write “lol” at the end of a sentence.
and I do…
An example of this going horribly wrong for me is when I made what I thought was A humorous little comment on FB
of how I might get so excited to meet the commandant at ADFA I might just kiss him square on the mouth !
I have had many a person now remark on this and ask what happened after I did it, Um… I didn’t, It was a joke. LOL.
A wise saying ( I think about me)”Never let the truth get in the way of a good story” LOL!
but back to Judi.
Judi Dench is kind of a big deal in our home.
why? Well I’m sure you will agree she is the epitome of grace and elegance and is obviously ( after Meryl) the greatest actress ever. That’s all. oh and I just think she seems nice.
We often bring her up in conversation as if she has just left the room.
Things like, “But what would Judi Dench do ??” we often utter in response to a problem or
“if only Judi could have seen that, Oh how she would have laughed, her gorgeous, throaty, husky laugh !!”
Oh Judi !!
I do not think this is at all strange.
Just a healthy love and respect for someone I’ve only seen on TV and movies. Nothing wrong with that.
But I do just have to tell you our, ( my ) yes it is pretty much only me joy in Judi worship came to a heady climax the other afternoon when I realised I have indeed transferred my love of Judi to my 2 year old grandaughter.
See, I must back track a little here.
When last years Academy awards were on and again I was transfixed by watching people I don’t know personally on the TV and feeling excited. Judi herself was up for an award. I can’t remember what, that would mean details and I’m not that good with them. My daughter, cute cute grandchildren and I were watching and we had a little statue that we held pretending we were getting awards and if not us then every other winner had to be Judi Dench.
Oh the fun we have with two small children that are our captive audience and can’t leave without us so they have to join in !!
The statue is actually a small beautiful African woman carrying a water urn but it is Oscar shaped so in a pinch had to do.
So my little grandaughter is well versed in yelling out “Judi Dench! Judi Dench! the Oscar goes to Judi Dench!”
again, I do not find this strange.
When, (back to present time now ) Up popped on the TV that old classic show “as time goes by” starring none other than Judi herself !!
and some man
and Judi !!
and This is how I know the love of Judi will travel down the lines of generations in my family, which is obviously of utmost importance!!
When my little grandaughter heard the magical words uttered, “Judi Dench is on TV!!” she came running into the lounge, very excitedly ran to the TV pointing and exclaiming ‘Judi Dench!! Judi Dench!!
as anyone would !!
and we were saying “where?” ” Where is Judi?” remembering she is 2, and whilst an older child may have lost interest like a trooper, she carried on pointing and shouting “Judi!” Judi!”
Even when we tried to test her…. What?
We would point to another person on the screen and say “Is this Judi Dench ?” She would shake her brilliant little head and say “No!!” then ofcourse when Judi would be back on screen the excitement would start again!!
It was genius.
and this is all I have to say on this subject actually.
I think I should warn you right about now if you are reading this and looking for some kind of enlightenment on world issues or any issue really. I think we can all agree you are in the wrong blog !!!
Your friend and mine, Nat. X


The fairy floss and me.

Getting you right in the feels ……
unless you’re a mutant.
Then your on your own.
Had a weekend away from our little town to our nations capital Canberra.
It was nice, it was different, it was unusual. ( to coin a phrase. )
I knew it would be different and unusual and it was nice, very pretty.
That is just a little info on Canberra for anyone else who sometimes feels like they are living their life like a 1950’s housewife because I, like you had never been.
I know admitting this may cause a gasp of disbelief. The reasons for this are involved, complicated and disturbing and I can’t tell you why here ….
This may or may not be exaggerated.
I must at least appear interesting so I just haven’t been ! OK !
We were accompanying our youngest son to the open / information day at ADFA. The Australian Defence Force Academy for the ill informed , I was one of these ill informed types until this became a very real part of our lives. He has been accepted into the RAAF and will start this new life at the beginning of 2015.
Our youngest, my baby boy , the fruit of my womb will be in the military.
I am so proud. I feel only others that have been in similar situations and know the work and dedication just to ” get through ” and be accepted will know I’m not just tooting our collective horn or boasting if you will. Anyone would be proud and rightly so.
I am in awe of him. He is a good guy. brilliant is my son.
I can hear my other children clicking their tongues at this bit and planning their vengeance against the youngest, The Golden child, The favourite. Not true !!They know this. They are ( quietly) proud as well. This is just one of his moments in the story of our lives. and anyway you know I always quote the famous quote, ” When your parents say they don’t have a favourite child, it just means, you’re not it. ”
The intense emotion I felt when we arrived at the Academy took me somewhat by surprise.
I have made jokes ( not about war !!) that when he leaves next year I will stand on our verandah in my apron waving a white hankie my lip quivering a little as the pianola plays” Kiss me goodnight Sargent Major.” I think you have to have The Sullivan’s firmly embedded in your memory and remember Grace Sullivan tearfully waving John ( or Tom or Kitty ?? ) off to war to feel the emotion of this, and be over 40. Which is probably why my kids just stare at me when I chuckle at my own hilarity.
Of course I will miss him hugely. There will be tears. You will probably be in tears yourself when I relay it to you in the future. Beware.
But this time we were only visiting and from the moment we descended the hallowed stairs ( A nice piece of dramatics ) I felt the tears stinging and the lump like when you are watching a sad movie with other people and you can’t start sobbing uncontrollably so you hold it in and it really hurts your throat.
I looked around, people seemed quite happy.Jolly even. It was a beautiful day and everyone seemed in fine spirits. There were a lot of displays and people parachuting out of planes. Huge Helicopters to have a seat in and The Military band. All the different leisure activity groups manned their own tents offering smiles and greetings and happily showing you just what your son or daughter could join next year. All with different dishes to share as well. Nachos, hotdogs sausage sanga’s. The dramatic arts club had Fairy Floss, Bless.
It was all very festive.
I truly felt I should just stand next to the dramatic arts tent eating their fairy floss cause I was feeling just that, A tad dramatic. We did indeed though find ourselves standing near The Commandant. No I did not push anyone out of the way to find myself standing there but in conversation with me trying to look nonchalant and not near tears and my husband actually conversing normally the Commandant said he is always so proud at this time nearing the end of the graduates first year to think that mostly these people were still in school last year and look at them now. Was that a glint in his eye as well? Was the commandant feeling it as well? Who knows?
But, that in a nutshell is what I think had my heart string apullin’ so much. All these guys, ( meaning guys and girls, of course) where just young, eager, upstanding, hard-working, generous, nervous, proud souls. That have not an easy path for their careers. The emotion wasn’t just about my son. I felt an immense pride in these people, the graduates and the officers. And that will get the feels going in anyone.
I never saw the military being part of our lives in such a personal way. I have to admit I didn’t know a thing about it before our boy started this journey. I still know about half a percent of what there is to know.
You think when you’re a parent, your job is to guide your kids, let them learn from you, and give them experience in life. But, when you have these wondrous beings you just don’t know what experience they will bring into your life. What you can learn from them. Things you never would have considered or imagined on your own. It can be a wonderful surprise.
For me, this, is one of them.


The checkout girl and me.

The idea of paying a good deed forward
or just brightening someone’s day unexpectedly
seems like a good thing to do.
Doesn’t it ?
The checkout girl and me.
I did indeed “pay it forward ” the other day . Well sort of …
Found myself standing in the checkout line at the supermarket totally minding my own business when there it was ! popped straight into my head the thought,
Pay for the groceries of the dear lady in front of you !!!
My mind seemed to go into fast motion . Yes I’ve read the facebook stories, yes I’d seen the movie. but did people really do these things ? My mind was still moving fast.
What !? What did you say !? can I do that !!? How much stuff does she have !!?????
I looked , it was ok , wasn’t that much stuff . ( I know . I know but I still had to have enough money to pay for my own stuff as well. I couldn’t exactly count on the person behind me cottoning on to the trend at the exact same moment I did.
I was on my own.
she was pretty old, had a walking stick and had brought her own green shopping bags. Good one.
Luckily for me she wasn’t nimble.
Once the checkout girl had scanned her items the lady busied herself lifting her bags into her trolley. Thankfully I didn’t take any notice of her struggles because it gave me time to put my well thought out ( in ten seconds ) plan in place. As she was bending into the trolley I quickly and excitedly half whispered half mouthed to the checkout girl ” I’ll pay for her stuff.”
Maybe I spoke too quickly, maybe she was hard of hearing , maybe she thought I was telling her to get stuffed but instead of a conspirators wink and a pat on the back the checkout girl just stared back at me and said “What ?”
I had to hurry. I was going red cause I already sensed the confusion and I didn’t want the lady to catch me in the act. I wanted to surprise her !
I said it again waved my eftpos card in the girls face and she finally understood.
Just in the nick of time the green light approved my purchase. I stood there not sure of what would happen next but exhilarated by the thoughts. The lady finally turned around with her purse at the ready. I let the checkout girl have her moment … “Um, she already paid.” she said, pointing at me. I just smiled, a simple gesture but I felt that’s all that was needed.
Again, though I have to admit a little underwhelmed the lady answered, “What?”
I thought I should take matters into my own hands by now, my vigour was starting to sink.So I said ” I just thought I would pay for you. ” I nearly said, just for shits and giggles just to lighten the mood but stopped myself as I sensed this also might not be understood .
The checkout girl was onto my stuff by now. the lady just stared at me and I kid you not, didn’t say a word !
She instead started bustling quickly away as quick as her little legs on her little walking stick could manage. Then the unthinkable happened !! Yes a tad dramatic but I was already blood red in the face at the awkwardness so everything seemed unthinkable!! She stumbled a bit and dropped her walking stick ! I moved quickly somehow feeling I needed to make amends for causing her to be confused and seemingly alarmed. I went to pick it up for her as she was bending and well she didn’t exactly push me out of the way but kind of blocked me and said , not unkindly but curtly “I’m ok. “
So there I was. I don’t say any of this to portray the lady in a bad light instead just letting you know, “Pay it Forward…. not everyone has seen the movie.


Meryl Streep and me.

This is probably a longish one in the world of blogs.
Take note of the title ” Sorry I will digress ….
So press on if your Game.
Don’t if your satisfied with a quick read and maybe a post of a cats vagina.
Yes, am well aware I used “cat’s vagina” in my last post.
Brilliant isn’t it !! Maybe this could be my signature tag !

Meryl Streep & Me .
I like to think I’m a bit mysterious and intelligent and well frankly secretly more beautiful than my outward appearance reveals.
Ok, an explanation may be needed at this point hence you are thinking, wow this chick is really up herself and I dislike her already I can assure you I’m so not ! ( up myself ) so feel free to like me.
As with many, well most, well actually all people I suspect, what you see ain’t necessarily so. Though again I feel a need to explain ( yeah yeah I know I haven’t explained the first bit yet.) One of the best things someone has ever said to me about me ( It’s all about meee!! ) is that they saw me as a person that if I liked someone I was their friend. Not for what I could get, not to be seen with the popular people. Not for any other reason. Even if sometimes they weren’t that friendly toward me if I liked them I liked them and that was that. I liked that about me a lot. So rest assured when I say ” what you see ain’t necessarily so” I’m not meaning falseness I’m meaning we’ve all got way more going on in our pretty little heads than any one can ever fathom.Yes obviously, I didn’t say this was a light bulb moment !!
Ok, explaining why I think I’m more beautiful underneath it all. ( wow !! I have to stop sounding so up myself !) Last blog I mentioned ( a few times ) that I want to write, that I’m waiting to be discovered… well, it’s not just writing that I hang all my whimsical hopes upon I am also awaiting the magical day I finally become …… a rodeo clown !!!!!!! Ok, Ok … Too far ??? well no the truth is I also have a little hankering to be an actress ( this bit isn’t meant to be funny. ) A true actress. A Meryl Streep, a Shirley Maclaine, a Dianne Keaton type actress not just a movie star!!but here is where my dream comes crashing down a bit, well, pretty much, I’m not.
Let’s not get silly here people. I’m not heartbroken. I don’t stand gazing out the window drinking my brandy, swirling the ice cubes and dreaming of a life that never was, whilst I slowly pull out my hair and go bald with madness.
I won’t portray my younger life as tragic but I will say it was a bit sad, quite dysfunctional, a lot distressing and not really a good time . So because my parents were still trying to work out a lot of dysfunction from their own young lives. for their children this didn’t leave a lot of room for discovering dreams, following dreams and achieving dreams. On the scale of neglect of children we were on the low side but we were on the scale and it has left some scars.
My brother and I have said we always feel like we are playing catch up with life. Just surviving at first but slowly, once we built lives for ourselves allowing time for , what now ? It has to be noted my darling brother has taken hold of this notion with both hands, feet and well his whole big beautiful self actually !! never have I known a person fit so much of their passion into a very successful life. Beautiful family, important career, traveller of the world, photographer, writer and entrepreneur! not necessarily in that order. He is an all round good guy who just excels !
It’s only been the past few years really I have allowed a bit of “It’s ok Nat. I have never been working toward a career I have had jobs that have always allowed me to attend things that were on at school, never had to bring work home and have made some good friends. My career is my family full-stop. My family is thriving, I have a husband that loves me and is still here after 20 years ( well it’s rare these days ) So at 48, I can exhale and look for What now ?
I have only lived in two smallish towns in country/coastal NSW in my life. So came to terms quite happily a long time ago that being whisked off by Baz Lurhman to be his next muse probably wasn’t going to happen. I am still getting to the explanation of why I’m more beautiful underneath . I’m struggling to explain it actually . ( cause obviously it’s quite deep. ) See, my clumsy thoughts are: Yes , I have a dream to be an actress / writer / rodeo clown ….. seems a silly dream for someone living in a small town who works in a bookshop and has no access to anyone or anything remotely connected to Baz Lurhman but I have had a small ( very small ) “go ” at our local Players Theatre. This is most definitely a work in progress people that I would love to share more with you as it goes on cause truly having never done anything like it before, like never ! I truly suck. I’m very shy about it, quite reserved really and totally not comfortable. It’s very different than being in my lounge room where I am always fabulous !!! So this is not profound , We all know it, but ( here’s the beautiful explanation !)
Having dreams is beautiful.
Being grateful is beautiful.
Keeping joy in your heart is beautiful.
Thinking weird thoughts that make only you smile is beautiful.
So you see I’m not really up myself at all !!
but I’m willing to give this theatre thing a go and see if one day it does become more familiar and I can relax more maybe try out for a proper part, speaking and everything !! and for me that will be a success, that will be joyful, that will be a dream achieved. and I will be, beautiful.

Dream on you beautiful dreamers.
Nat. X

” You are never too old to set another goal or to
dream a new dream. ” – C.S.Lewis.



Sounds like the start of a poem… It’s not!!
Blog, blogging, blogger.
Staring into space.
Looking at cobwebs. The end. Ha!
No, not pretty-out-in-nature type situations of cobwebs, just ones that you look at when you look up in your home as you are in mid-pause of thinking of a witty repartee and see lots of fine whispy cobwebs just sort of hanging randomly in corners of your ceiling and feel some sort of shame but not enough to actually do anything about them. Then another thought pops into your head just as quickly and the shame of cobwebs is gone!! And that, my friends, is how the cobwebs got so bad in the first place. So… I could just leave my first blog at that I guess, a bewildering insight into my thoughts on cobwebs. Not exactly the riveting start I had hoped for as I enter into this whole new world of blogging. See, I’m asking myself, “Why am I starting a blog? Well I enjoy a bit of a write and I thoroughly enjoy a good laugh,” I have answered myself quite matter of factly but kindly. And who doesn’t, you may have just said to yourself, and though we are having this conversation telepathically I do agree with you, to a point!! (“Controversy already” I hear you ask, again telepathically. More on this later.) (Writing class 101, keep them in suspense!) My brother, God rest his soul. He’s not dead but I just think that’s quite a nice thing to say . He is always marvelling (mostly at me! ha!!) that in our family we are always “looking for the funny”, which is true! Make us laugh and we are yours forever. We have had some unusual, common, sad, disturbing things happen to us to be sure. Though the overriding thing that always sees us through is our ability to “look for the funny”. It can change a situation or even how you see someone. You know how some people are actually quite conventionally unattractive but because they are just so funny they have a charisma that oozes and you start to find them a little bit dishy after all . That actor from the Mighty Boosh has just popped into my mind (mainly cause I don’t want anyone I know reading this and think I’m talking about ugly old them!!) I just can’t remember his name right now but he is a bit on the unconventional side as a heart throb but I get a little tingle if you know what I mean! I have just had to write all that instead of just popping his name in first off and getting on with it cause I am writing this on paper and have not a computer next to me to look up his name cause that is the kind of organic rustic vintage type I am, I write on paper first! Truth be told I type really quite slowly for todays standards… Meaning I type really slowly. I can’t write important things like this slowly as I would lose my train of thought whilst looking for the right key (a young groovy person just probably groaned telepathically of course and shut me right down. Assuming a young groovy person has even looked at me or this blog sideways!! I don’t even know what that means really but I feel upset at the rudeness). This is just one of the many “honest” moments you can look forward to if you keep reading me and make me famous! Yes , I said it! (Oh careful what you wish for Nat!) A great big instigator of this blogging bizo is that I’m fully expecting someone to discover my rustic charm of writing and ask me to do some sort of Erma Bombeck column on my musings (again a young person just groaned and fell off their chair not understanding anything I’m saying). Or even to a lesser extent being discovered somehow for something like Julie Rafter in the now defunct Packed to the Rafters TV show. She started writing a blog , got discovered, nearly had an affair and got done for drink driving after having a wine at lunch. The only part of that I will not partake in thankyou is the having an affair bit! I’ll be much too busy drinking at lunch!! Hahahahaha!!! So anyhow nearly lost my train of thought and this is just paper!! Hahahaha (there is the laughter again). So, oh yeah, why start a blog? And why do I agree “to a point” about people liking a good laugh? The short answer to this is… I don’t know. The longer more poignant answer is:
Blog; an odd phenomenon that is sweeping the world like facebook and whilst it did take me a while to get on the FB wagon I quite enjoy it on the whole (not the rude bits). “I don’t want people knowing my ins and out’s!!” I would scream indignantly at anyone who asked me casually if I was on FB but as it turns out I DO like people knowing my in’s and out’s after all!! (Apologies to all I screamed at about “never ever going near that trash can of trash, FB!!!!” I still don’t know why I was so angry about it). Don’t get me wrong here though folks, I don’t mean my ins and outs as in everything I’m doing on an hour by half hour basis! How do some people have time to post every little thing! Seriously, no one cares that much about your cats vagina. I just mean I discovered the thrill of writing a status and found sometimes it would make people laugh. As I’m always looking (for the funny), this was thrilling for me. Now apparently you can’t write really humorous and interesting things on FB constantly. Some people get bored with fascinating and bold insights filling up their news feed. I said to someone not long ago when starting to explain something that happened “oh you probably saw that on FB” meaning I didn’t want to start telling them again if they already knew the outcome they replied, “no, I never read your posts they just go on and on.” Yes, a blow to my ego to be sure but that got me thinking there has to be a better way for the world to enjoy me (as I said blow to my ego Ha!!) So long story short… A blog was born.
Second answer: I’ve forgotten the question… Seriously. Anyhow, I now know the actors name from The Mighty Boosh, Noel Fielding. Just in case you were yelling his name before and I didn’t hear you. He is nice.
Second answer: I’ve remembered. The ‘agreeing that people like a good laugh to a point’ bit.
Most people do like a good laugh, I’ll agree, but people have real hurt, hardship, lies and threats, ‘living in fear’ type situations going on for real each and everyday and sometimes laughing is way down the list when problems take up most of the page.
So I do enjoy a good laugh this has been established. Obviously I’m not walking around like some sort of loon constantly laughing and having no problems, but I do like to lighten the load by bringing something else to the table occasionally.
I have no idea what this looks like as far as a blog goes. I have no firm plan which you may have already worked out…… Hahahahahaha!!! I guess I AM always laughing like a loon!! What is wrong with me?? Well that, my friends, is a story for another time…